20 Great Reasons To Go To La

THE SUNDAY AGE

Saturday October 29, 1994

Jake Niall

In the capital of the health and fitness world, the only permissible spare tyres are the ones on your car. Jake Niall reports.

LOS ANGELES stirs more animosity than almost any city in the world.

It's routinely derided for being superficial, soulless, smoggy, ugly, too spread out and lacking a centre. In the '70s, smug New Yorkers liked to paint LA as a barbarous, cultural wasteland filled with airheads.

Horrified by its endless good weather and apparent lack of intellect, the playwright Neil Simon called it ``paradise with a lobotomy", while someone else dubbed the sprawling megalopolis ``16 suburbs in search of a city". Quite unfairly, Woody Allen said LA's only cultural contribution was the introduction of a traffic regulation that allowed drivers to turn right at red lights.

But these ceaseless negative portrayals of LA are, of course, grossly unfair. If it was such a bad place, why would 14 million or so people live there? I have lived in this troubled metropolis for a couple of years and, while yes, there are a few worries, the pros outweigh the cons.

Here, in defence of the city of angels, are 20 reasons to visit LA: 1. THE WEATHER. It is so good, it becomes boring. Day after day, you look outside and see the sun shining. The winters are so mild as to be almost inconsequential. Yes, there is a disturbing lack of rainfall (we cannot live on bottled water alone), but we have largely overcome that negative by stealing water from northern California.

The well-documented downside of smog can be avoided by sticking to the coast, where the breeze will keep the inhaler at bay.

2. DISNEYLAND. The original Disney theme park is located in Anaheim, a suburb of LA about 30-45 minutes drive from downtown (depending on traffic). While many visitors choose to stay in Anaheim to make their Disney trek easier, it's probably better to stay elsewhere and drive down (or get a bus) since Anaheim is an otherwise bland place. The best ride? Space mountain.

3. UNIVERSAL STUDIO. Another obvious tourist attraction. This definitely lives up to the hype. Universal has kept that robotic `Jaws' jumping out of the water at tourists, while updating the rest of the studio with more recent film history, sets and technology. A warning to those staying in hotels - hotels routinely charge patrons $30 to bus them to the studio. Again, drive yourself with your hire car or find your way to the free shuttle from Mann's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.

4. PRIVATE ART COLLECTIONS AND GALLERIES. LA does not have a public art gallery to rival New York's Met or the Louvre in Paris. Like any city with large numbers of millionaires, however, it has a splendid group of privately-endowed art galleries, including the Getty, the Norton Simon and the Hammer.

5. LOCATION. LA is a central place for any tourist covering the south- west of the US and California. You are only six or seven hours from San Francisco, four or five from Las Vegas and Yosemite National Park and a full day's drive from the Grand Canyon. Even Phoenix is within a decent day's drive. LA is a particularly convenient locale during the Northern Hemisphere's winter. Not only is the weather mild, but, perversely, you're still only a couple of hours from ski resorts such as Big Bear.

6. ETHNIC FOOD. Melburnians know this field well and understand that the more ethnically diverse a city becomes, the greater the diversity of restaurants. LA has a flair for taking ethnic foods, such as Indian, Chinese and Mexican, and ``Californianising" them. Three prime examples of this are Bombay Cafe (Indian), the Mandrette (Chinese) and Authentic Cafe (south-western/Tex-Mex). The latter pair are located on Beverly Boulevard, while Bombay Cafe is in Santa Monica.

7. HEALTH FOODS. The downside of LA's culture of narcissism is that people stare disapprovingly at spare tyres. The upside is that if you want to eat healthy, you can. The supermarkets are stocked with fat- free, low-cal and caffeine-free products. There is also the phenomenon of fast foods for the health freaks. Koo-koo-roo is a small chain that serves chicken and turkey (skins removed) char grilled and cooked exclusively in vegetable juices. Mexican take-away, too, is joining the health fascist movement.

8. JUNK FOOD. You can just as easily be a slob. Apart from the standard McDonald's, Burger King and 7-11 (which are everywhere) LA has take-away food and diner franchises I'd never heard of: Norm's, El Pollo Loco (Mexican version of Red Rooster) and Coco's - an upmarket Denny's - to name but a few.

9. ROLLER-BLADING. This is a favored pastime of hundreds of thousands of tanned, healthy Angelenos. The most famous roller-blading circuit runs from Venice Beach through Santa Monica.

10. MATADOR BEACH. Rather than simply say ``nice beaches", I thought it better to recommend one where the views are pleasant, the beach relatively unspoiled and not too crowded. Matador is north of Malibu, off the Pacific Coast Highway and is not too bad for parking. Zuma Beach, just down the road, has decent waves for those who insist on surf.

11. LIVE MUSIC VENUES. As the world's entertainment capital, LA is assured regular visits from every big-name artist and a million others you've never heard of. With a bit of research, you can time a visit to coincide with your favorite group's date in LA. And since bands often start tours here, they are less likely to give fans a lacklustre, exhausted performance.

12. GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE. Another upside from the city's obsession with physical appearances. Rather than bemoan the superficiality, it's better to celebrate the fact that, thanks to the combination of Hollywood wannabes and climate, the place is brimming with photogenic men and women of all ages, many augmented through breast implants and facelifts. The never-ending pursuit of the Hollywood dream means that LA has the finest looking waiters in the world.

13. GREAT GYMNASIUMS. It follows that to maintain that aerobicised body, you have to work out. Millions of Angelenos begin and/or end the day at the gym, honing those pecs and quads. The Sports Club on Sepulveda Boulevard, which recently re-opened with post-earthquake renovations, is everything an LA gym should be: two storeys, filled with mirrors and people working out while talking on cellular phones.

14. GOOD DRIVERS AND FREEWAYS. Far from being violent and dangerous behind the wheel, as you expect, the drivers of LA are among the most civil and skilful I have encountered. It may be motivated by a fear of litigation in the event of an accident or fear of a shooting in the event of a post-accident argument, but drivers are respectful.

15. TOLERANCE. This is an extension of the driving culture. LA is perhaps the most individualistic place on earth and while it lacks a sense of ``community" that brings people together, the positive is that no one cares much about what you're up to, so long as it doesn't interfere with their pursuit of happiness. You can start a cult enrol in weird 12-step self-improvement courses, but so long as you don't bother others, it will be tolerated.

16. SPORTS VENUES. For sports-mad Melburnians, LA's large number of professional sports teams provide another avenue of entertainment. And with most LA teams languishing, especially basketball's Clippers and Lakers, tickets aren't too difficult to come by. With the advent of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, the metropolitan area now has two ice hockey teams (the LA Kings, too). It has two of everything - ice hockey, basketball, football and baseball. For ambience, baseball's Dodger Stadium is the most pleasant venue and, these days, they're the only team that's winning.

17. SHOPPING. If you can't purchase it in LA, it does not exist. For the lazy shopper, malls have been invented.

18. MOVIES. One of the unsung virtues of Hollywood is that every major movie is released first in LA. Those films that take six months to arrive in Australia will have already boomed or busted, starting here.

The cinemas are comfortable and viewer-friendly, many of them installed with drink holders.

19. CRIMINAL TRIALS. Televised criminal trials have begun to rival Hollywood as the chief provider of entertainment in LA. There is bound to be one going on at any given moment. Consider the following media circuses: Rodney King (parts 1 & 2), the brothers Menendez, Heidi Fleiss and the daddy of them all, O.J. Simpson. You could throw in Michael Jackson's investigation, though it never went to trial.

20. RED LIGHTS. You can turn right.